Overcoming Overspending
Now, more than ever, is the time to keep your spending under
control as we batten down the hatches and wait for the global
credit crunch storm to pass. For some, it is a huge struggle to
stop spending. Often when we spend money there is a
psychological need that we are meeting. It may be that buying
expensive gifts for loved ones is a way of feeling close to
them, or in some cases, those with low self esteem may boost
their image by having the latest electronic gizmo, or going
shopping for elegant accessories to make their home look
beautiful. There is nothing wrong with doing any of these things
in moderation. The real test of whether you are an overspender
is whether your spending habits are so out of control that they
create a problem for you or others around you.
If you are an overspender, or you are in a relationship with
one, you have probably experienced considerable financial and
emotional stress, including unmanageable levels of debt, anger,
hurt, guilt and low self esteem. Deep inside, most overspenders
believe money can buy, or substitute for, love or happiness.
Overspending can also be associated with being more powerful,
particularly for some men. The tell tale signs of an overspender
are:
- You tend to spend money when you go shopping, whether or
not you need anything
- You often buy things or take financial risks regardless
of whether you can really afford them
- When life gets too stressful, you seek consolation by
spending or risking money
- When you feel lonely, anxious, depressed or bored you
spend to cheer yourself up
- Your favourite way of celebrating or rewarding yourself
is to spend or gamble a lot of money.
The pattern of overspending is similar to binge eating. There
is a trigger; often a negative emotion such as loneliness,
depression or boredom. There is a decision point; you give
yourself consent to spend. You take action by making the
purchase, then once the high has passed, you are overcome with
feelings of guilt, shame and self-hate.You are right back where
you started, in a negative emotional state. If you are an
overspender, here are some tips for how to overcome your
problem:
Make a list of what you own and what you owe so you can see
your financial situation in black and white
- Set clear goals for yourself and celebrate your progress
- Keep a money diary – writing down not only what you
bought, but why you bought it and how the purchase made you
feel
- Once you understand what it is that triggers your urge
to spend, deal with those issues
- Practice new behaviours such as setting aside savings or
leaving your credit cards at home
- If you see something you want, think about it for 24
hours before you buy it
- Stay away from situations where you are likely to spend
money, or take a friend with you
If your partner is an overspender, you can help by:
- Talking with your partner about his or her problems in a
non-judgemental way
- Managing your money separately, but without taking away
your partner’s right to spend responsibly.
- Being more loving towards your partner
- Being understanding when there is an inevitable setback
For more information on this subject, read Overcoming
Overspending by Olivia Mallon (Walker Publishing Company, 1995).
October 2008
